I wanted to help out an American friend who has a brilliant blog on the American political system called Dixies Political Blog a very insightful look at American politics and one which I think will help you understand a little more about the American Psyche. Its well worth a visit if for no other reason than to get a sensible view of the politics in the States.

Photograph courtesy of Creative Commons

Of course in my other role as super Internet Marketer extraordinaire, I couldn’t just post about a political blog without finding some relevancy to the subject of travel, how I could I put such a black mark over my search engine optimization expertise.

So I looked for an American slant about travel to France to add to my post. This is when I stumbled across Guidelines for American Tourists in France which is one of the funniest posts I have read for an age. Here are a few extracts:

General Overview France is a medium-sized foreign country situated in the continent of Europe. It is an important member of the world community, though not nearly as important as it thinks. It is bounded by Germany, Spain, Switzerland and some smaller nations of no particular consequence and with not very good shopping.

France is a very old country with many treasures, such as the Louvre and EuroDisney. Among its contributions to western civilization are champagne, Camembert cheese and the guillotine.

Although France likes to think of itself as a modern nation, air conditioning is little used and it is next to impossible to get decent Mexican food. One continuing exasperation for American visitors is that the people willfully persist in speaking French, though many will speak English if shouted at. As in any foreign country, watch your change at all times.

Safety

In general, France is a safe destination, though travellers are advised that, from time to time, it is invaded by Germany. By tradition, the French surrender more or less at once and, apart from a temporary shortage of Scotch whiskey and increased difficulty in getting baseball scores and stock market prices, life for the visitor generally goes on much as before.

A tunnel connecting France to Britain beneath the English Channel has been opened in recent years to make it easier for the Government to flee to London.

Cuisine

Let’s face it, no matter how much garlic you put on it, a snail is just a slug with a shell on its back. Croissants, on the other hand, are excellent, though it is impossible for most Americans to pronounce this word. In general, travellers are advised to stick to cheeseburgers at leading hotels such as Sheraton and Holiday Inn.

Conclusion

France enjoys a rich history, a picturesque and varied landscape, and a temperate climate. In short, it would be a very nice country if it weren’t inhabited by French people. The best thing that can be said for it is that it is not Germany.

Now you might be fooled into thinking he is just picking on French people but there are one or two clues that he might be taking the mickey out of Americans as well e.g. “American travellers are advised to travel in groups and to wear baseball caps and colorful trousers for easier mutual recognition.”

There is one small problem with this blog and that is the owner David actually lives in the Wirral near to Liverpool in the UK and I have no idea whether he is in fact an Englishman or even if he wrote this article but I don’t think we should let semantics detract from the hilarity of his post and I would urge you to visit the page and read it in full.

In the meantime I will contact him and invite a comment on this post with confirmation of his nationality and whether he was actually the author of said article.

Don’t forget to visit Dixies Political Blog either as it was her postings that inspired me to find the American Guide to France.

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